PSL | For Neal

[trueloveskid]

If someone had told her even a few months ago that this was what her life would become, she would never have believed it. She would have told them that she didn't want a life like this. Yet here she is, living in an actual apartment with an actual boyfriend, with an actual job. It's not the nicest apartment, of course, but it's what they can afford right now. Her job as a morning-shift waitress at the diner down the street isn't the nicest job either, but what kind of job was she expecting with a history like hers? At least she has a job, and it pays her in actual money and she and Neal can start a life together.

She's been at the job for a few weeks now, and she feels like she's starting to get the hang of it. She had thought at first that the job was the reason she was so tired all the time, but when she does the math in her head and adds in a few other things that she's noticed, she doesn't think that's the reason for it. She stops by the drugstore on the way home from work, and when she gets home, she's glad that Neal isn't home yet. She doesn't want to explain until she knows there's something to explain.

It's only a matter of a few minutes until she has an answer. Positive. She leaves the test sitting on the sink when she goes back to the living room to sit on the couch and wait for Neal to get home. She doesn't know what to think about this. She has no idea what to do with a baby, and she doubts that Neal does either. The topic had never come up.

What are they going to do now? They've only just gotten settled into this life, and now it's going to change again.

Comments

[alandwithoutmagic]

Neal had found a job nearby that he liked. A ‘friend’ got him the position and he had to use what money he had to purchase a nice pair of khakis and a light gray button down. He worked behind a desk and it was boring but it earned them money and with them both working they were able to afford more than they had before.

It wasn’t what he expected but he enjoyed this turn to his life. He’d spent so long running that he never thought he might have a love, a home or anything worth more than the clothes on his back. He continued to have nightmares, he hadn’t told Emma everything about his past or his father but it didn’t matter because they had each other. To others it might be a small thing but it was enough for him and for the first time in forever, he was happy. It was a strange feeling; one he didn’t really know what to do with. He was scared of losing it, of hurting but he didn’t let that stop him.

When he arrived home he placed his back next to the door and then pulled off his coat. He eyed Emma for a moment, his brow creasing in a frown. "You look worried. Did something happen?"

[trueloveskid]

She pats the spot on the couch next to her. He'll probably need to be sitting down for this. "I have something to tell you."

At least she doesn't have to worry about how to bring it up anymore. He took care of that for her. She waits until he's sitting next to her to turn to look at him.

"Neal, I..." She's started this, she has to keep going now. The proof is in plain sight in the bathroom anyway. She takes a deep breath and plunges in. "I'm pregnant."

[alandwithoutmagic]

Neal moved next to her, sitting close to her side before draping his arm around her shoulder. He didn't know what was wrong but it was a small measure of comfort that he could offer her. He watched her with worry brimming in his expression.

He inhaled a sharp breath as the news and then smiled. "Really?" He didn't see this as a bad thing. He loved Emma and he if was going to start a family he'd want it to be with her.

"Hey, hey, it'll be okay." Neal now understood why she was worried.

[trueloveskid]

"Will it?" They've settled in to this life, just the two of them, and they've done it well enough, but then it is just the two of them, and they don't expect much, and they're both adults. A baby will be completely dependent on them. There's no messing this us.

"What are we going to do with a baby? Neither one of us knows anything about babies."

[alandwithoutmagic]

Neal kept his arm around Emma's shoulders and turned to face her more fully. "We have 9 months to learn and I know you'll be a wonderful mother, Emma. It'll be scary but you won't be alone." Her took her hand and gently run his thumb over her knuckles.

"Let's start with this. Do you want to me a mother, a family?" He won't force her but he already knows his answer.

[trueloveskid]

"I don't know." She'd had some time to think before he got home, but that hadn't been enough to come to an answer. "I never thought I did. I never...imagined it ever being a possibility."

That had been before him, before her future had had some kind of shape. She can tell how he feels about this. "I've never felt like that."

[alandwithoutmagic]

Neal lightly brushed her hair back giving her a warm, strong smile. "Think about it. We have a little bit of time now. How about I make dinner tonight?" His smile widened.

"How do taco's sound? We have beef in the fridge." He wasn't the best cook but he could make simple things. Cooking had been something he'd wanted to do for Emma since she never had. He'd been taking care of himself for a long time.

[trueloveskid]

Tacos? Her world is spinning on its axis, tipping on its side, and he's talking about tacos?

No. He's talking about dinner, and things that adults worry about, and if she can't even do that, how is she going to take care of someone else?

"Tacos sound good. You go. I'll be here."

[alandwithoutmagic]

He studied her for a moment with his eyebrow raised. "Are you sure?" She looked like she was fighting an internal battle and after a moment he realized that it might be good to leave her to it. She knew that he'd be there to draw strength from but other things you had to decided on your own.

"Right." He leaned forward, lightly kissing her forehead before he stood and stepped into the kitchen. Taco's were at least easy and involved a lot of prep which he'd use to think.

[trueloveskid]

She waits until he's in the kitchen and pulls her knees up to her chest. She doesn't know if she can answer his question by the time he's done with the food, but she knows she has to do it soon. The choice that he wants to make is obvious, but she doesn't know if she's ever going to be able to do what will be required of her for this.

[alandwithoutmagic]

Neal didn't want to pressure Emma. She should do what she wanted, it was her body and her future. No matter her choice she'd have his support. He'd always be there for her.

Dinner took about twenty minutes to make and Neal had been taking his time. He laid out everything for taco's and when the meat was done he'd put it in the assembly line so that they could each make their own. He then called out the family room and waited for Emma's reply.

"Dinners ready."

[trueloveskid]

She gets up and comes into the kitchen. He's got it well under control, which makes one of them, anyway. She picks up a plate and starts to put food on it. "It smells good."

[alandwithoutmagic]

Neal flashed her a warm smile. "It better." He came in behind her and made his own plate of tacos before taking a seat at the table. He really didn't think he had everything together but he tried.

"Food might help you feel a little better."

[trueloveskid]

"Yeah. Maybe." She takes her food and goes over to sit at the table. "How was your day at work?"

[alandwithoutmagic]

"It was good. Nothing exciting happened." At least nothing that Neal felt was worth noting.

"What about you?"

[trueloveskid]

She picks at the food on her plate, realizing as she looks at it that she's really not that hungry. "Busy. There are a lot of people in town for a convention or something."

[alandwithoutmagic]

"Oh? I hadn't heard about it." He watched her curiously before taking a big bite of his taco. He chewed quickly and took another before placing the mostly eaten taco down.

"Did you hear what it was?"

[trueloveskid]

"No, I didn't hear any of them say it." Though she hadn't been feeling the best this morning either, so it's possible she missed it when someone did say something.

"Does it matter?"

[alandwithoutmagic]

"Not really. I thought it might be good to think about something else." He finished his first taco and quickly scarfs down the other.

"Not hungry?"

[trueloveskid]

"Not really. I haven't been hungry all day." Which is the opposite of what she's heard about pregnant women, but perhaps it's because she's so unsure of all of this.

[alandwithoutmagic]

"You should try and eat something or at least drink something. I think we have some orange juice in the fridge?" He wasn't sure but he'd check and baby or not he's worried about her.

[trueloveskid]

"Orange juice, yeah." She can't process all of this right now, which is why it helps that he's here.

"God, I can't even take care of myself right now." She rests her forehead on the table in front of her.

[alandwithoutmagic]

Neal rose from his seat and fetched Emma a glass of orange juice. He pulled up a chair next to her and smiled his usual confident, if not cocky, grin.

"Hey, you don't have to take care of yourself all the time. That's what I get to do." He handed her the drink. "It makes me feel manly." He admitted with a light teasing tone. He didn't know what she was going through but he wanted to be her support; to do this right.

[trueloveskid]

Despite herself, she finds herself laughing at that, the sound echoing off the table under her head. "Well I wouldn't want to be responsible for you not being manly."

[alandwithoutmagic]

Seeing her smile was all he needed to know that he'd done a good job.

"Good. That's settled then."

[trueloveskid]

She reaches for his hand, but doesn't look up at him yet. "Neal? This is what you want, right?"

[alandwithoutmagic]

"I want you to be happy. That's all I ever want." He Leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

[trueloveskid]

"No, I mean..." She waves her free hand vaguely. "This. A baby, a family. Is that what you really want?"

[alandwithoutmagic]

He watched her, his lips pulling into a warm smile. "Yeah. It is."

[trueloveskid]

"Okay. Then we'll do it." She's still freaked out, she will remain so for a good long while, but she won't deny him something that he wants so much.

[alandwithoutmagic]

His smiled widened. "We will and it'll be fine Emma. I promise. Anything you need. I'm here for you." He brushed some of her hair from her forehead.

"Okay?"

[trueloveskid]

"Okay." She sits back up and pushes her plate away. Tacos don't sound as good as they did when he was making them. "I have to be up early tomorrow. I should go to bed."

[alandwithoutmagic]

"Yeah. I'll clean up." He took away her plate, figuring that she wouldn't want to continue smelling it. "Then I'll join you." He kissed her again before poking at her orange juice.

"Take that with you though. You never know. You might want a few sips."

[trueloveskid]

"I'll see you soon then." She stands and picks up the glass of juice. "Good night."

[alandwithoutmagic]

"Good night." He watched her go before setting to the dishes. It didn't take long though it took long enough that he was half expecting Emma to be asleep.

Being as quiet as he could he pulled of his shirt and socks and slipped into bed. He turned towards her and circled his arms around her waist.

"I love you."

[trueloveskid]

She's actually not asleep when he comes into the room, curled up under the covers with a book. "I know." She turns to face him with a smile. "I love you too."

[alandwithoutmagic]

The corners of his mouth curl into a warm smile. "Good." He kept his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest before lightly kissing her on the forehead.

"Go to sleep. Didn't you say you had an early start tomorrow?" He teased lightly, feeling happy just staying at her side.

[trueloveskid]

"I do. But I wanted to wait for you." She thought he might appreciate it too. She knows he has trouble sleeping on many nights, and she wants to be here for him when it happens again.

[alandwithoutmagic]

Neal did appreciate it and her admission brought a warmer smile to his lips.

"Thanks." He didn't have to mention nightmares or how having her there helped. She knew and he trusted that she'd be there for him. There was nothing that scared him if Emma was near.

"Though we should both sleep." He teased while pulling her closer.

[trueloveskid]

"I know. I'll see you in the morning." If he's up before she leaves for work. Otherwise she'll see him later. But he'll be here, and that's the important part.

[alandwithoutmagic]

[ooc: New thread? I didn't know if you wanted to skip ahead some or where you wanted them to start next.]

[trueloveskid]

[ooc: New thread, definitely! We can talk about it and figure out what to do next.]

[alandwithoutmagic]

[ooc: okay! imma probably just do tags tomorrow so feel free to poke me when you're free :)]